I was so right. She knew exactly what she was doing. I was right. I was right all along.

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He's been distant. I know it's my fault. I meant it though. That's one of my New Year resolutions. To be unapologetic. To live every day like I mean it. To worry about making only one person happy, my daughter. Not even my husband, because I've seen where his heart lies.

I want another daughter or maybe a son. I will find another way to do that. Even if it's me adopting. I wish I knew someone who would do it for me, with me. If Annie wasn't knocked up, she'd be my top candidate. I've seen the way she sees my daughter, the way she sees her own kids. She'd know that it was Henry and mine. She'd step back and be an aunt. That's just how she is. She's my best friend and I know, if she could, she'd help.

Is this what women feel like when they can't have a child? Lonely and unimportant...because that's all I feel anymore.

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My daughter is perfect. Always has been. However, Nora worries me. Sometimes I think she does all this, all the neediness, because she wants his attention. Her attraction for him is nothing old. Anytime she's in the certain mind set, she has these crazy hormones going on and she's ready to even just hump a chair. She goes onto hi like peanut butter to the roof of one's mouth.

I want another child. I don't want a full grown woman who is faking an injury just so he'll pay attention to her. If she can't do it, I'm about ready to find someone who will.

My daughter is the embodyment of perfection. So pure and gentle and small. She's amazing.

Henry and I were talking about maybe adding to my family. I know I'd love to have more children, but is it as safe as it was last time? Nora is ready. She said she was, but she still has her days. She isn't stable with how she acts, but I think it may actually give us the ability to watch her closer and her be okay with that. She likes the attention most times, but...it's hard to explain for the most part.

I want Henry to be okay with this. I don't know if he is.

Baby has started crawling around of recent. She's so beautiful.

Nora still isn't feeling better though. She's a bit off her rocker still. Henry has been closer to her, trying to help her I guess. I don't think she'll get any better, honestly. Some kind of brain trauma or something. Henry doesn't think so. I do though.

Happy New Year everyone.

She's beautiful. A girl. A daughter. 8lb 4oz. She takes my breath away. Only have one pic and it isn't her best side, but at least it's better than nothing.



I love her so much.

Damn I love him. I've said it before, but I mean it so much.

Football was on and I had a rugby game the other day. We were the champions as usual. I'm surprised that sport isn't more popular here. It's like Football American style except without the pads and better rules.

Henry is doing incredibly well, compared to how he was a few weeks ago. Bach is the most handsome little kitten in the world. Hen found him outside when his mother was hit by a car. We love him more then anything. He's the king of the house, I believe. It affirms my feelings of being a father.

I want him to at least start taking the steps with me.

I wish it was me and not him. I'd trade places with him in a second. At least he's up now and talking a little. He's still so weak and fractured and in pain.

It makes me want to make this final more and more. I have to protect him better.

 Hen looks so amazing when he sleeps. Good to know he's mine.